2007.08.24

I walked out of my house on Tuesday evening to discover a crazed gorilla on my rooftop. The gorilla was ripping up shingles and throwing them into nearby trees. The gorilla has left a 'load of brownies' in my chimney. I was none too pleased. I called the local Animal Control unit.

About an hour later, a white van pulls up, and an old man gets out. The old man is very wrinkled and very serious looking as he approaches me.

The old man is carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. We exchange "hello's". The old man me the gun.

"Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat. I will back him up until he falls off of the roof." says the old man with a completely serious tone.

"When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in his... unmentionables... until he is completely incapacitated."

"Great," I said. "But what's the gun for?"

"In case I fall down instead of the gorilla -- shoot the dog."

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Football is in full swing. The regular season begins for Mini-Mattis this Sunday. The 7th Grade team officially takes the field for the first time on Tuesday the 28th.

I am not handling things as well as I would like. I have dropped the (proverbial) ball a few times in the past couple of weeks. The next 10 weeks or so are going to be a real challenge.

Oh yeah, parental pride moment of the week - Mini-Mattis (8-years-old) had a class best 72" standing broad jump. The boy has mad hops - yo. Seriously though, it is crazy to see how he is physically and mentally developing.