No - really. I mean it.

2007.03.26

IWA gurus Bull Miller and Chris Cruit have a... show? ... Chat session? Online. I think it is an internet broadcast of some sort. Click here to listen to the Riot Squad on BreakinKayfabe.com. Warning: Explicit language.

On Saturday mornings, I lead a sport conditioning class with about a dozen boys from the community. We use elements from a couple of different programs. We use the dot drill, agility ladder, speed hurdles, agility cones, etc. We are teaching kids how to move properly. We are trying to develop body awareness and all-important foot speed. (Mini-Mattis is in the class.)

We worked the kids hard. They barely stopped moving. This highly motivated group actually asked for a water break. That is uncommon for them. I - of course - told them, "Water is for the weak! Now, back in line! Be sure to eat your salt tablets."

Following the hour-long class, I suggested to a couple of friends that we run a few miles on the track. A friend (aka LR550) is planning to run a 5K this spring. His goal is to run the 5k in under 28-minutes.

I have not run since last spring. Last Spring, I ran two 5Ks. My knees and back ached so badly for the next month that I visited a specialist to make sure no serious damage had been done. I have undergone a couple of knee surgeries - I have no cartilage in my left knee. I have tendonitis in my right knee. Due to chronic back pain, a few years ago I had an MRI done. My lower lumbar spine has degenerated to that of someone in their mid-50's.

Anyway, we decided to run 13 laps (3.25 miles) on the track. Mini-Mattis ran with us. LR550 was strong out of the gate. He kept a steady pace. He has obviously been training. Chris (who is a decent runner) decided to hang back with me. Todd, who has not run in at least a year, joined us. So there we were... LR550, Chris, Todd, Mini-Mattis and me all determined to run 3.25 miles.

About one lap into this run, I realized I had made a horrible mistake. I was a horrible distance runner when I was 16-years-old and weighed 150 pounds. Now, at age 32 I weigh 230 pounds and my distance ability has not improved at all.

I was committed to running 3.25 miles. Well, "running" is a subjective term. It was more like a "trot". Anyway... we finished. Chris, Todd, and I finished in about 38-minutes. Yes, I know the midgets could skip backward around the track faster than that... thank you. And by the way, they prefer to be called "little people" you insensitive jerk.

LR550 finished in about 35-minutes. He still hopes to cut over 7-minutes from his time this year. He did an excellent job.

Mini-Mattis dinked around with a couple of the kids at the track and fell nearly a lap behind. Once he realized this... it was go time. Mini-Mattis caught to Todd, Chris and me. He stayed with us for a lap. Then, he took off and caught up with LR550. Then, he continued to accelerate around to lap Todd, Chris, and me. He stayed with us for a moment before zipping off. He was within about 60 yards of lapping LR550. Mini-Mattis finished in about 32-minutes. Had he been focused the whole time, he could easily cut another 2 or 3-minutes.

A the final nugget there... Mini-Mattis was dripping with sweat from the hour-long sport conditioning class before we started running. So, he should have been at least a LITTLE fatigued.

I realize Mini-Mattis' childhood is very different than most. After we completed the run we went home and ate a snack. What did 8-year-old Mini-Mattis have for a snack? He drank a protein shake. That is how he rolls... sucka.

Anyway, I am so sore I can barely walk. My back is stiff. My knees are killing me. I hate running. Really.

jamestown youth football wee rams bantam 3rd grade jv varsity coaching defense modified 4-4 outside linebacker blitz package offensive line scheme technique jamestown youth football wee rams bantam 3rd grade jv varsity coaching defense offensive line scheme technique