Mark Mattis / Merth

One of the hardest things about being a parent is finding the right balance between - 1) explaining how to perform a task and 2) allowing a child figure it out on their own. To be fair, it doesn't apply exclusively to kids. Sometimes adults have to figure it out for themselves too.

I struggle with "advice". If someone comes to me - ask for advice - then ignores the advice - it is hard for me to not say, "I told you so." That is bad... I don't know what to do...

A few years ago, people would ask me for weight-loss or exercise advice. I would write out detailed diets and exercise plans. I would expend hours of time and energy to help the person. Without fail, the person never followed the advice. The person would continue doing his or her own thing. They change NOTHING about their lifestyle.

Six months later, they would again approach me asking for help and complaining that they hadn't lost weight. This situation has easily played out a half-dozen times in the past few years. It is extremely frustrating.

I want to say, "Well, maybe if you had followed my advice instead of eating French fries with mayo and taking the elevator everyday you wouldn't be a fat cow..."

I have kept my mouth shut. I learned from this... Now, when people ask for a diet and exercise plan I make it simple - 'make a list of EVERYTHING you eat for the next week and bring it to me'. I ask them to put a few minutes of time and energy into their own health. Almost without fail, a list is never written or produced. Six months later, they approach me asking for help and complaining that they still haven't lost weight.

Now, I simply say, "Well, I will help you... tell you what... make a list of EVERYTHING you eat for the next week and bring it to me."

I am no longer frustrated that my advice was not followed. I have not expended time and energy to help the person. So, my emotional investment is minimal.

On the flipside, I find it difficult to bite my tongue when some people offer me advice. For example... if you are 5' 10" and 315lbs... Haven't seen your toes since the Reagan administration... and use Twinkies as breathe mints... please do not advise me on dieting habits. Yes, I think it is great that you have read 37 different dieting books... 93 magazine articles... and watched 249 hours of "health" TV.

For a long time, I would simply smile and nod. I would not respond to the claims that I should avoid bananas or meat or whatever else the most recent article was pushing.

I now take the approach that - "A healthy lifestyle requires a consistent, long-term diet that you can maintain. It easy to jump on a new trend of exercise or diet. But, the best diet is the one that you sustain."