Lasting impressions...

2004.09.14

The IWA will host the final Gym Wars this Saturday evening in Columbus, Ohio. Virtually every central Ohio indy wrestler worth a Damm has wrestled for the IWA at some point or another.

The IWA Gym is a place of legend and infamy. The list of wrestlers include: JT Lightning, Roadblock, "Too Cool" Trevor Lowe, Sherman Tank, Sheik and G-Moe, Suicide Solution, Buck, Bones Dudley, CO Hustler, Big Country, Rip Romeo, Al B. Damm, The Casanova Cliq (Chip Algood and Dale Johnson), The Riot Squad ("The Orient Express" Shank Dorsey, Marcus Dillon, etc.) with Wimpy Watson, "Wild" Bull Miller, The Poe Boys (Cyrus and Buford), Zero Tolerance (Dangerous Damian Kass, Tommy Chill, and Brian Fury), The Repeat Offenders (Vandal and Homicide), The Fraternity ("The Alpha Male" Zach Avery, "The Omega" Mark Mattis, The Pledge), Fabulous Frederick, Carlton Kaz, The Holyman, "Bad" Brad Shultz, Bruce Gray (referee), Tim Shady (referee), Super Hugo, Bud and Kat, etc. The list could go on forever. I am sure I missed some folks. Sorry.

Occasionally, a legend would pass through. The IWA ring has been graced by people like Bo Bo Brazil, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Ivan Koloff, "King Kong" Bundy, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, "Demolition" Ax, The Iron Sheik, "Wildfire" Tommy Rich and Doink The Clown.

Of the 5 years I have been involved in wrestling, I have learned numerous things. For one, no promotion - NONE - is squeaky clean. Every promotion has problems of some kind. The IWA gym is on the second floor of an office. The ceiling is 8 feet high. The floor might get swept once per year. Maybe. There isn't much in way of ventilation. Over the years, the building has developed a rank stench of body odor.

The training ring is 1' off of the ground. There is roughly 7' from the ring floor to the ceiling. Performing suplexs is scary; the recipient's feet will often scrap the ceiling causing dust and debris to fall. It is virtually impossible to deliver a top rope maneuver. The ring floor is a landmine. There are bumps and holes everywhere. It is nothing to see someone trips over a mini speed bump while running the ropes. Likewise, as competitors come crashing to the canvas, it is painful to find a piece of plywood sticking up.

The "locker room" is disturbing. What do sweaty wrestlers do after a match? They go to the locker room and sit down to relax. The furniture absorbs the sweat. Fill a cramped room with sweaty wrestlers, the temperature of the room rises. Essentially, a green house effect kicks in. The sweat is baked into the furniture. As a basic rule, do not let anything of value touch the floor or furniture. It will be forever tarnished.

There is only one bathroom in the gym. The toilet works. That is the good news. The bad news? There are never paper towels or soap of any kind. So, after delivering a big nasty poo, wrestling on a nasty bloodstained canvas, you cannot wash your hands. You have to take the slime with you.

The stench follows you outside. You leave your windows down (even in sub zero temperatures) to air the car out as you drive home. You do not want the 'gym smell' to cement itself in your car.

The rest room is a biohazard. The locker room reeks. The ring is dangerous. All of this adds to the charm of the IWA. This Saturday, is the final farewell to a landmark of local wrestling.