2002.04.06

Brad Shultz and The Riot Squad are desperate for any kind of attention they can get.

This is a story about the death of a career. Wrestling is a tough business. New faces line up every day determined to reach the peak. The new newbies are determined to become part of the upper eschelon. Sadly, only about 1 in 10 guys that start with a dream ever end up wrestling a single match. Now, 1 out of 10 wrestlers actually moves up the ladder to become something more than squash material. This is a story about several guys who came very close to filling their dream. This is a story about several guys who, "tried so hard and got so far... but in the end, it doesn't really matter".

This is a story about the IWA U.S. title and the many victims that lie in its wake.

To do this story justice we have to start at the beginning. The very first IWA U.S. Champion was "The Orient Express" Shank Dorsey. Shank had a couple years of experience and a strong desire for the business. He was very close to ordering a battery operated "ab-tron" machine. Unfortunately, Shank never received his "ab-tron". Shank had delusions of a "hot spot". Shank disappeared and has not been seen (on Community Access) since.

"Wild" Bull Miller (I feel bad even typing his name) was the next U.S. Champion. Bull is pushing 70 years old. Despite the fact he looks no more than 55 years old. At one time Bull was a glorious warrior. He was a warrior before the term "sports entertainment" was invented. Although Bull still claims to "wrestle", this title signified the end of his glory days.

The third sap to become U.S. Champion for Shane Christian. Shane Christian (Sexy C) stands all of 5'2" and weighs about 100 lbs. That aside, he pinned Bull Miller and became the champion. Christian had a lengthy reign before DDK eventually dethroned him. After losing the title Shane developed some "personal issues" and disappeared from the spotlight. He has not been seen since. Of course, not many people look down to his level very often.

"Dangerous" Damien Kass was the 4th man to hold the title. While it is true that DDK is still an active wrestler. It is true that DDK is on the verge of becoming a 'top tier player' in the IWA. DDK did not escape for the U.S. title unscathed. For the record, DDK weighed 227 lbs. when he won the title. DDK live the highlife as champion. DDK now tips the scales around 260 lbs. This isn't HHH-260, this Buh-Buh Dudley-260. It is not pretty.

Somehow, Money D managed to win the U.S title. All I know is DDK still whines about how unfair it was. Money D was notorious for wearing a purple singlet and tights. Fans often chanted "Barney" during his matches. Money D lost the U.S. title and disappeared never to bee seen again.

Brad Shultz defeated Money D for the U.S. Championship. Brad Shultz is fat, ugly, and bald. The easiest way of defining Bad Brad Shultz is by his mentor. Brad idolizes Bull Miller. Brad attempts to imitate Bull's every move. Unfortunately, Bull isn't exactly in his prime and Brad isn't very good at impersonations. It is not his fault; he is simply Brad Shultz. Brad stumbled through a long title reign before losing to Al B. Damm. Since losing the title Brad has went on to prove he is still Brad Shultz.

Al B. Damm is a great athlete. Al B. Damm has a tremendous amount of skill. Al B. Damm dreams of someday being a superstar. Al B. Damm is the probably the most physically gifted person to hold the title. As good as Al B. Damm is, he is no match for "the Omega" Mark Mattis. On March 23rd, I relieved ABD of his responsibilities as the U.S. Champion.

It is sad that Al B. Damm's career had to come to a close. He had a lot of talent. But, now he is just an 'also ran'. He is a page in the history of the title. What will happen to ABD now? Will he quit wrestling and work at a gas station? Will he bag groceries at the local supermarket? I know I can't wait to find out.